Scandal Rocks Power League
Admits There's No Such Thing as a 30-Day DL, Refuses to Apologize
URGENT-SANTA LECHUGA (SLPL News)
- Prompting the first of what will likely be numerous scandals
this year, Santa Lechuga Power League Vice-President Pedregoso
Ríos admitted today that there's no such thing as a 30-day
disabled list in Major League Baseball."Who knew that I
just made the damn thing up?" Ríos said of the mythical
30-day DL. "I mean, you know, didn't you think it sounded
legit when you heard it?"
Ken Griffey Jr.'s recent injury, which prompted many team
owners to ask for a trade, lead to discovering the error. According
to Ríos: "I was looking
at the list of injured players and noticed that there wasn't
a single player in the league on the 30-day DL. After doing my
homework -- which, sure, I probably should have done before
the season started -- I realized that there are only two types
of DLs, the 15-day and the 60-day."
Commissioner Rube Furrow -- who
was quoted as saying "I knew this DL-trade thing was going
to be a pain in the ass!" -- took prompt action to clarify
how this mistake will be rectified. "Instead of having a
player go on the 30-day DL, which doesn't even freakin' exist,
owners can trade a player that goes on the 15-day disabled list."
The 2002 SLPL Rules have been
modified and now read as follows:
- Disabled List Trades
This year, owners will be allowed to make up
to two (2) 15- or 60-day disabled list (DL) trades. You can only
trade players that have gone on the official Major League Baseball
disabled list. A DL trade is in effect one day after you notify
(by e-mail only) with a copy to Rube
Furrow. DL trades are not retroactive to the date
the player went on the disabled list. You will receive the "to
date" stats of the player that you trade and the remaining
season stats of the player you trade for.
- 30- or 60-Day Disabled List Trade
. 15-day DL Trade = $15
. 60-day DL Trade = $10
Furrow said, "As per these
rules, we will allow each owner who asked to trade Griffey to
make the trade, effective the date after notifying Pedregoso.
He will post these trades in the next day or two unless you've
changed your mind. If you've changed your mind about the trade,
let us know ASAP."
Ríos was uncharacteristically
unapologetic for his goof. "Hey ... I made this mistake
before Joe Livernois wrote his column extending
heart-felt apologies to everyone out there who is due an apology
... I'm covered by his apology!"