Disabled-List Scandal Rocks Power League

VP Admits There's No Such Thing as a 30-Day DL, Refuses to Apologize


URGENT-SANTA LECHUGA (SLPL News) - Prompting the first of what will likely be numerous scandals this year, Santa Lechuga Power League Vice-President Pedregoso Ríos admitted today that there's no such thing as a 30-day disabled list in Major League Baseball."Who knew that I just made the damn thing up?" Ríos said of the mythical 30-day DL. "I mean, you know, didn't you think it sounded legit when you heard it?"

Ken Griffey Jr.'s recent injury, which prompted many team owners to ask for a trade, lead to discovering the error. According to Ríos: "I was looking at the list of injured players and noticed that there wasn't a single player in the league on the 30-day DL. After doing my homework -- which, sure, I probably should have done before the season started -- I realized that there are only two types of DLs, the 15-day and the 60-day."

Commissioner Rube Furrow -- who was quoted as saying "I knew this DL-trade thing was going to be a pain in the ass!" -- took prompt action to clarify how this mistake will be rectified. "Instead of having a player go on the 30-day DL, which doesn't even freakin' exist, owners can trade a player that goes on the 15-day disabled list."

The 2002 SLPL Rules have been modified and now read as follows:

Disabled List Trades
This year, owners will be allowed to make up to two (2) 15- or 60-day disabled list (DL) trades. You can only trade players that have gone on the official Major League Baseball disabled list. A DL trade is in effect one day after you notify Pedregoso Rios (by e-mail only) with a copy to Rube Furrow. DL trades are not retroactive to the date the player went on the disabled list. You will receive the "to date" stats of the player that you trade and the remaining season stats of the player you trade for.
30- or 60-Day Disabled List Trade Fees
15-day DL Trade = $15
. 60-day DL Trade = $10

Furrow said, "As per these rules, we will allow each owner who asked to trade Griffey to make the trade, effective the date after notifying Pedregoso. He will post these trades in the next day or two unless you've changed your mind. If you've changed your mind about the trade, let us know ASAP."

Ríos was uncharacteristically unapologetic for his goof. "Hey ... I made this mistake before Joe Livernois wrote his column extending
heart-felt apologies to everyone out there who is due an apology ... I'm covered by his apology!"

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Updated by Pedregoso Rios, Majority Owner, Pepino Monos
E-mail: pedregoso@santa-lechuga.com

Copyright ©2002 by Joe Livernois and Tony Livernois.
All rights reserved.