What can be said about Pedregoso Ríos that hasn't already
been said? Pretty much everything. This guy is so obscure that
a pseudonym would be pointless. He's so anonymous that his wife
doesn't even know him. (Or maybe that can be attributed to his
complete lack of communications skills.) It's been said that
people see air more often than they see Pedregoso Ríos.
This much we know about him: Ríos owns the Pepino Monos
in the Santa Lechuga Power League. He writes a semi-regular column
for the Official SLPL Website. He broke a major international
story in 2001 when he covered the devastation at Endive Stadium.
And Ríos has the world's largest clothespin collection
with 1,632 varieties from 42 countries that date back as far
as 350 years.
Ríos' fellow owners in the Santa Lechuga Power League
clearly do not like him. One was quoted as saying "Drink
coasters serve more of a purpose to humanity." Another SLPL
owner said "Rug burns have more character than Pedregoso
Ríos." SLPL Commissioner Rube Furrow was recently
overheard saying "Pedregoso is Spanish for 'stony,' right?
Makes sense. He's as smart as a box of rocks."
Little is known of his personal life, but it's likely that
he doesn't have one. He's said to live with his wife outside
Santa Lechuga in a battered trailer off of Mal Accidente Road.